Angelina Musik-Comp posted on December 06, 2009
You can’t evolve anyone else but you, whether you are reading this article with your spouse, a family member or your best friend in mind.
Why would you? Do you feel that it would it make life easier in the relationship if you could ‘change’ that person, based on your perception? If that’s so, then instill the right for them to make a change order list on you too. Matter of fact, let’s treat each other like a car and change the design to create a different model altogether.
Wait a minute! All of a sudden that doesn’t feel good, does it? Well, it shouldn’t.
Each of us has been uniquely designed by our creator. We have a history, since our conception, woven into both our conscious and subconscious, and life experiences that we derive our thinking and behaviors from.
When we are not being our best and in frustration ask, “Why does my partner do that when asked them to do this?” Well, ask even more questions instead of judging out of false conclusions, and consider it may not have anything to do with you.
Anger is the emotion tied to pain that comes to the forefront most often. Anger, because one feels helpless. Sadness, because one feels misunderstood. Hopeless, because one feels exhausted.
The hope that can be found in restoring a bruised relationship is to accept that most painful experiences are misunderstandings. False conclusions based on words and behaviors rooted in the past, a product of generations and life experiences.
The greater hope is to take a deep breath during moments of incompatibility and employ empathy.
She does this because her dad used to . . . he does that because his mother often . . .
We sometimes dance more comfortably in emotional turmoil because we are more familiar with how to cope with living in pain than how to embrace our freedom from it.
Curiosity and time is your friend in learning more about others to help sift what they are really going through during moments of anguish.
Evolving yourself to a healthier relationship consists of breathing moments of love, empathy, patience, understanding and all of those positive attributes you can expand upon that is in the best interest of everyone